Ode to being blonde

Lately I've been finding that I've been inadvertently saying hurtful or mean things without really meaning it. It's starting to bug me. (waaah). I don't know what it is, but I'll say one thing meaning it in jest or in complete innocence (and sometimes as a compliment) and I think others have been taking it poorly.

Case in point, last night I was asked by someone to give her an adjective describing someone else I knew. It was for an awards ceremony and was going to be part of the speech. So I blanked out my mind, thought of the person and said the first thing that came to mind:

"blonde"

Now, out of context (or perhaps in context, I don't know...), this was totally not a dig on the girl I knew. It just so happened that when I brought up the mental imagery of the person, her stark long blonde blonde blonde hair was standing out. It's so blonde it's almost white in mind. So that was the first word out of my mouth. I guess it seemed a little insensitive if you didn't know the context of my thoughts (I wonder if I'm subconciously writing my own defense right now... hrm....).

In any case, I've been raising the filter levels of the things coming out of my mouth. In the past though, people have accused me of being elitist or too aloof for doing it (I guess I appeared uninterested in what people were saying). Truth be told, I'm just spending the silent moments going over what I would say before I blurt things out. It's kinda funny to think how negatively people think of you even when you have the right intentions.

And people wonder why I find it tiresome to be around people for too long...