Nervous fear... rising...
Tomorrow we're supposed to go to Jtree and climb moosedog tower in indian cove. It's a 2 (or 3) pitch climb to the top of a rock formation - rated 5.9 and supposed to be fun.
But I'm nervous. I was starting to do some imaginal therapy (e.g. imagine myself on rope - yeah, it's pretty weak) and feeling better about myself. Now with this prospect it's back to the old nervous fidgeting.
Steph said she can lead all three pitches if I wanted. Not sure - I feel like I should just race ahead and lead at least one pitch to face my fears. We'll see tomorrow.
Now here's the thing though - I feel like for me to have a handle on my fear, I can either give in to it or I can embrace it with wild abandon and forget I'm on lead - effectively solo with wild runouts.
We'll see about that too...
Now onto actually quelling my fear... how did the litany go again?
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
I suppose that'll work.
posted by Obi at 6:42 PM
3 Comments:
I have a Dune manuscript signed by Herbert. The original text reads:
"Fear...you are an iota of waste. When I next urinate, I will piss you out, along with some other unwanted emotions--phosphorous, for example. I hate feeling phosphoric. Anyway, I digress. Bene-Jesserits rule the dance floor!"
Apparently the original story centered around an interplanetary dance competition. Maud'Dib is actually Paul's dancer name, which means "Man of many hip gyrations". It's way better than the later versions.
Man I love nerdy Dune conversations. Can somebody please make a ludicrous sexual reference to Leto II being shaped like a huge penis. Oh wait I think I just did. God Emperor of the sack!
More from the Herbert manuscript. The following can be found in Herbert's caffeine-affected scrawl, written vertically, in the margins, at the end of the book.
"Symbolism: Leto I = Stern father. Emotional barrier between him and Paul equivalent to my own struggles connecting with Louie (pet hamster). Bene-Gesserits = Awesome dancers = New York Yankees. Paul's mother represents cluelessness of women (Note: try to suppress sexism in 2nd draft. Should sand worms have breasts? Not sure how this would be taken. Don't want feminists to think all sand worms are male...that they aren't good enough to be sand worms...do worms have breasts? Research.) Harkonnen family = IRS (obviously). Should I take out the frequent references to taxes and audits? Maybe it's too obvious. What if evil tax man/ruler of Harkonnens is a floating blob. Wicked cool! (Lay off reefer.). In sequel, Paul's daughter will represent the vagina. Mother Earth? Make subtle references to Leto II as huge penis. Incest? (Must take shower.)"
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