Steph and Obi = Steph... and then there's Obi.

Steph and I broke up last night. What happened? How did it happen? These things I'm not quite ready to blog yet.

Some might say this blog is inappropriate. I say screw them. I need some space to self-analyze and to vocalize my thoughts to put them in order.

It's also a means of letting my friends know of what happened so I dont have to send emails out to tell them. I'm a lazy bastard that way.

I think at this point, I'm just feeling confused yet at peace with what's going on. Steph and I aren't angry with each other - in fact, we want to stay friends (albeit after a hiatus from each other. Need time to let things sink in for both of us). It might not have sunk in yet - only time will tell.

You know, what's really interesting that I see in myself is that there are two parts of me right now: 1) the hurt ex-boyfriend whose world is collapsing around him 2) the sensible, logical guy who does what needs to be done. While internally, I'm feeling a swirl of emotion - most of which I don't understand and is keeping me from thinking straight, there's a small but distinct voice in me that is saying "Alright, we've been through this kind of pain before and we've refined the healing process. Let's get to work...". I think I'll be alright - but I can't tell. I'm either going to push things deep down and let them fester (not that it's what I want...), or I'm going to be able to take things well and recover sooner than later. This is the third relationship that's lasted for at least 3 years - I sorta know what's coming and how to deal with it.

I think things are going to hurt most when I start to physically move out. Yes, move out - it makes more sense for me to move out than for Steph. She's closer to work, she enjoys the beach, she has the better salary to pay for it on her own, and she's got more stuff in here than I do. I've never moved in with a significant other and then had to move out - I'm not sure how I'm going to handle that when it comes.