The walk down memory lane is all uphill

I am so exhausted. I went to a two-day 10 yr high school reunion this weekend in LA, and the time was spent getting to know old friends all over again, reminiscing, talking about old friends who didn't show up and the like. All in all, it felt like I had hiked a 10 mile trail uphill.

Allow me to say that it was an extremely pleasant ordeal. I had envisioned only recognnizing one or two people recognizing me - with my friend Eitetsu being one of those people. I had entered high school at the 10th grade, while most everyone there started from the 4th grade, so I was positive that the memory of me was very faint relative to everyone else. As a side note, I did get one (and only one!) "did you graduate with us?" question. he he he.

It was really fun to catch up with those who we lost contact with. It was nice to see that the friends I had have all become people of substance.

However, I'm not a person who dwells on the past very often. Not only that, my memory is usually pretty hazy to begin with. So for me to try and recall these events and shared experiences for several hours was so taxing on me mentally.

I sometimes question my methods of living my life - in particular, this weekend questioned the methods in which I let go of the past to move on. I don't think I'm doing anything "wrong" per se, but I wonder if it can't be refined better. It's not that I shy away from my past, but I just don't spend much time or effort latching on.

And when I do latch onto my memories, I find it disturbing that I'm missing out on so much around me. *sigh* - I have to admit that even now I'm latched onto a memory that was evoked and I'm trying so hard to let it go. I wonder if I should or if I should sequester myself into a room and fully embrace / relive it like a Gollum and the ring in his cave...

Don't mind me if I lose all my hair and sit hunched back in the corner...